Episode 204 - Marriage and Business: Succeeding in Both, with Relationship Specialist Jacque Opie
Our farm office is often only metres from the kitchen table, and the kitchen table only metres from the bedroom. We live where we work, and the line between business & marriage can blur fast.
It’s part of what makes doing business with family one of the toughest challenges in farm business leadership. This episode honours the husbands & wives working shoulder to shoulder every day, through every season. Marriage on the farm is a rollercoaster ride, with ups and downs along the way. But I love the idea that “bones are stronger where the break was.” Hardship, met well, can leave us closer than a smooth ride ever would.
In this Learning From Legends episode, I’m joined by Jacque Opie, a relationship specialist and qualified counsellor who helps couples strengthen connection and better understand each other. Married for more than 30 years herself, Jacque knows that relationships are always a work in progress and need to grow as we do. I’ve seen the difference she’s made for our alumni members and it’s a real privilege to share her wisdom with our wider community.
Jacque shares a toolkit any couple can start using:
- why proximity doesn’t equal connection, and the small daily rituals that close the gap;
- the Gottmans’ “soft start-up”, and the four horsemen that can tear a relationship apart if left to run wild;
- Tony Robbins’ six human needs, and how to recognise when your partner is reaching out for connection;
- Values in Action, a free online assessment of 24 character strengths that’s well worth comparing side by side with your partner here;
If tough conversations tend to go sideways in your house, here’s the step-by-step model for respectful conflict Jacque shares in the episode:
- Before you start, check in with each other: is this a good time to have this conversation, are we calm enough, and are we willing to listen rather than defend?
- The first partner shares using three prompts: “I feel…”, “What’s important to me about this is…” and “What I need or would like is…”.
- The second partner listens and reflects back what they heard, using their partner’s words, without explaining or defending.
- Swap, so the second partner shares and the first reflects back.
- Find the middle together: what do we understand differently now, what can we be flexible about, and what’s one small thing we could agree to try?
- Close the conversation with an appreciation.
Jacque, thank you for your generosity in sharing your own story and for how gently you navigate a conversation that so many find hard to have. To read Jacque’s blog or book an introductory chat, visit her website here.
As you listen, I’d encourage you to jot down three or four improvements you could make to strengthen your most important relationship. Jacque reminds us we’re not chasing a perfect marriage. We’re aiming to do a little better each time.
To every farming couple building a business and a marriage side by side: back each other, laugh often, and keep growing together. The best partnerships on farm are built one small moment at a time.
Here’s to you both.
Hutch
P.S. The strongest farm businesses I know are built by couples who invest in each other as deliberately as they invest in the farm. If you’d like support building your version of a freedom farm, book a free 15-minute call with our team here.